Elementary School

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Are you tired of the whining? Here’s how to stop it for good.

Date: January 20, 2014 Author: stagesacademy Categories: Elementary School, Preschool

BUT MAAAAAA…..Please!!!!

There is nothing more like nails on a chalkboard to me than the whining of my children.  It absolutely makes the hair on the back of my neck stand on end.  It even does it while I’m writing about it.  No joke.

And I’m not really sure why they do it.  I’m not one of those parents who gives in to all of their whims.  I have no problem telling my kids, “No.”  In fact, my kids know that whining gets them nowhere with me.  Even if it was something that I was willing to give them, my willingness ends the minute that they start whining.

It doesn't seem to matter how old they get... They all end up looking like this when they whine...

It doesn’t seem to matter how old they get… They all end up looking like this when they whine…

But it doesn’t stop the whining.

And then I ran across an article online.  (I wish I remembered where because I’d link to it if I did.)  It had some advice that I had never thought of.  And, as simple as it seemed, I thought it couldn’t possibly work.  But, hey, I hate whining so I’m willing to try anything.

I tried it myself.  I’ve told other people to try it.

And, wouldn’t you know it?  It works.

The key is consistency.  You have to stick to the plan.  Otherwise it never works.  And no matter what they say, you remain calm, speak in measured tones

The plan is called “Asked and Answered.”

Here’s how it works…

Little Jimmy:  Mom, can I have that really cool flamethrower/BB gun that I saw on TV?

Mom:  Nope.  It’s too dangerous.

Little Jimmy:  (beginning the whine)  But Mom… All of my friends have a really cool flamethrower/BB gun….

Mom:  Do you know what Asked and Answered means?

Little Jimmy:  (pouting)  No.

Mom:  Did you already ask me the question?

Little Jimmy:  (sniffing) Yes.

Mom:  Did I already give you an answer?

Little Jimmy:  (whining)  But MAAAAAA…..I really, really, really want it!

Mom:  Asked and Answered.

Little Jimmy:  (STILL whining)  But I’ll do everything you ask me to do.  I’ll be the best kid ever.

Mom:  Asked and Answered.

Little Jimmy:  (pouts and stomps off) **grumble**

The next time you’ve answered a question and he starts to whine or ask multiple times, just keep repeating “Asked and Answered”.  You’d be amazed how quickly they get the hint.

Some kids will require that you do it over and over but they all eventually get that this is the only answer that they’re getting.  (As a note, it helps to get all of the adults in the house to agree to the program before you start trying this with the kids.  Nothing kills the effectiveness faster than Little Jimmy not getting the answer he wants from Mom and then heading to Dad and getting that flamethrower.)

Trust me, it’s worth it.

I’m not going to say that it works with every single kid (nothing does), but it works with every kid that we’ve tried it with ranging from age 3 to 13.  I’m not saying that there’s never any whining in my house anymore, but it’s definitely cut WAY down on the whine factor.

Let us know how it works for you.

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